Vancouver Island Doulas

Have any advice that really helped you? Do you have information now, that you wish you had before? Do you wish you could go back and do something different? Please share...

Breastfeeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding! I wish I knew what a challenge it was going to be...

I'm glad I stuck it out, and I did successfully manage to breastfeed, both my boys, well past the 1 year mark but whoa! I didn't know about the colostrum that I started leaking at 28 weeks, or about the engorgement that caused my boobs to grow many sizes overnight.  I didn't know what a huge learning curve it was, to learn how to breastfeed. I thought it just came naturally and that he would latch right on and it would be smooth sailing but it took me weeks to feel confident in feeding my first born. Just having someone to tell me that this was all okay and normal or to forewarn me would have be greatly appreciated. 

I wish I didn't let the nurses at the hospital in the NICU scare me so bad. They had me so stressed out about how much he was eating, how much weight he was gaining and whether or not he was going to get sick with the H1N1 virus. I even had a nurse tell me a story about a friend of hers who had her baby pass away after 9 days because she let him get sick. I was so upset that I stressed myself and I am sure my son out. Once I realized that yes I do have to take care of him but no he is not breakable we were much happier.

What I wish I knew then, what I know now... where to begin?

Erin, I would have to agree with you about the breastfeeding! I had quite a challenge with my first born, my daughter. I stuck it out as well and breastfed her until she was 6 months old. I was getting married that summer and was naive to think that I didn't want to be breastfeeding at my wedding. I never thought that I could just feed her, as she was there with us the whole time. Or to pump and store my milk for when she wasn't with me. I wish I had someone to give me advice about pumping and storing milk, or maybe just to encourage me to continue breastfeeding.

With my second, breastfeeding felt like a breeze. He latched on right when he was born, and I am still breastfeeding him now at 22 months.

Another thing I wish I knew then that I do know now, is that we have choices when it comes to the prenatal care we receive. I was referred to a maternity doctor and just went with her. She was nice, and I knew I wanted a woman. But I didn't fall in love with the care I was given. In the back of my mind, I had wanted to go with a midwife the first time around and I wasn't aware that they were covered under MSP. I also had thought about having a Doula my first pregnancy, but couldn't afford one. I didn't know that there were Doulas out there who offer flexible payments and payment schedules, like we do. With my son, I looked around for the kind of care that I knew I was going to feel comfortable with, and found my midwife.

The last thing I can think of is trusting mine and my husbands parenting skills. Not everything we decide might be the right thing, or perfect, but that’s parenting. You learn as you go, and your baby or child will teach you. I wish I would have followed my instincts more and listened to my baby instead of being hung up on what she should be doing at this age and certain milestones they have or haven't reached. Your baby will let you know what’s right, and you will know.

Love,

Tanesha

Wow, AngJordan, Thats too bad you had to experience a nurse like that. Every mother should be given encouraging words when she first has a baby, not words that will scare her. You know whats right for you and your baby

Tanesha at May 26, 2010 at 12:54 AM

Wow, AngJordan, Thats too bad you had to experience a nurse like that. Every mother should be given encouraging words when she first has a baby, not words that will scare her. You know whats right for you and your baby

thanks Tanesha. We definitely encountered good and bad nurses but as you say in your post, my husband and I do know how to raise our son and have to trust ourselves. It was a rough little while but with support and an awesome doula we are doing great!

I wish I would have known more about home birthing before having a baby. Had I known what I know now I'm sure I wouldn't have ended up with a c-section. But every little part of your journey makes you into the mum you are so I try to be thankful for it all

to sleep when baby slept

I wish I had known that breastfeeding is a learned skill for both mother and babe, instead of assuming it would be instinctual.  Thankfully, my little one is 14 months old and we are still going strong with our nursing relationship!